Sometimes life is hard. Having 2 kids 20 months apart is hard. Why didn't anyone tell me this? I was so concerned about not having kids when I was "old" that I didn't fully consider all the consequences. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had our kids so close together if I had known it would be this hard.
Everyone tells me that it will get easier. And that I'll appreciate the closeness in age when they're older. But all I can think about lately is "this is hard." I try to remind myself that this stage won't last forever and I don't have to get everything done that I have on my to-do list and someday my younger daughter will sleep and stop crying and . . .
But then I think about others - for a reality check. I have 2 healthy daughters. I have a friend who's daughter has a heart issue and Downs Syndrome. I have a husband who comes home every night from work and helps me clean up and take care of the kids. I have friends who's husbands are out of the country with the military. I have loving parents, siblings, and in-laws. I have plenty of friends that aren't blessed with that.
And then I give thanks for what I have. I give thanks for the strength to get through one more day. I give thanks when my daughter finally stops crying and falls asleep in her own bed.
And someday I'll give thanks for the experience of doing something hard, that taught me patience, and love, and kindness. But for now, it's just hard, and I'll get through it. One day, and sometimes, 1 hour, at a time.
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3 comments:
You are right Sharon! It is hard. Did I ever tell you that my only response when I found out was pregnant with my baby (they are 17 months apart) was "I am excited for 2-3 years from now.". It does get better, but those first couple years are extremely challenging. Realizing that everything doesn't have to be done is key! Keep up the good work!
You wouldn't have believed (or understood) what it meant when people said it was hard. I don't mean that in a you don't get it way, but a, it's one of those things you have to go through sort of way. I hardly remember anything from Tim's first year...mostly sitting on the couch feeding Tim while reciting Dr. Suess to Emily with my eyes closed. I can read with my eyes closed. Dr. Suess got it. Hang in there. :) It is a season. And seasons are hard.
Hang in there! It is difficult...I know! Emma and Claire are 18 months apart and then I had Hallie when Claire was 20 months. It feels most days like you're going crazy...on those days I would put the baby safely in her crib and go in my bathroom for 10 minutes to unwind and hear the fan blow. I would love to take her for awhile too. If she nurses, just nurse her before and then I'd love to take her until her next feeding. I'm serious! :)
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